Great visit. St. Francis fainted.

My visit with family was wonderful, as usual. For fun and new stories, I can count on Carlin every time.

As soon as I arrived and hugs were over, Carlin pulled me to her large living room windows which look out over the backyard. She pointed dejectedly to her statue of St. Francis, laying flat on its back.

Carlin has a perennial problem with deer feasting on her garden -- fruit, Swiss chard, even leaves. While deer feast above ground, gophers and moles join the party beneath the soil, chewing through roots, killing her plants from the bottom up. Meanwhile, in a true display for love of interaction between nature and animals, Carlin’s statue of St. Francis maintains a benevolent pose, despite the destruction of vegetation.

Carlin’s husband preferred capture and relocation as opposed to poison as a control for the gophers, his reasoning being that someone’s pet might find its way into their yard. Carlin complied, and the gopher problem got worse.

Carlin’s husband passed away a few years ago, and now the gopher poison is out. In response, Carlin’s statue of St. Francis fell flat onto its back. Unable to resist, I looked at her and declared, “You made him faint, with your poison!” She responded, “But I hope his head hasn’t come off! Do you think it has?”

“I’ll look tomorrow.”

St. Francis’ head was just fine, Carlin is happy, and only time will tell the effectiveness of her pest control.

This story is an example of the humor in Half Italian, which is…..unique.

- PJ