My last Travelers’ Tales submission contains a story about my friend and travel companion’s panty liners. Frustrated by laundry’s interruption of vacations, last year he -- yes, he -- decided to experiment, using feminine panty liners as protective underarm shields in an attempt to make his undershirts “last longer.” But the panty liners’ cooperation was minimal, with regard to their adhesive. On our return, they outright protested during airport security inspection in Chicago, twelve hours after he’d attached them, and dropped to the floor in front of a security official as he performed his task. The official stared at the crumpled pads on the floor, then at my friend, and then said, “Uh, you can get rid of those if you want.”
(And that’s just the end of my submission. Its future, or fate, is in the hands of Travelers’ Tales.)
This year, on the internet, my friend found true underarm shields. Like me, the shields await our trip to France. They’ll eventually see parts of Paris I hope I never will. For anyone interested, check back in late October or early November, for a brief performance evaluation.